DEAR SEPARATED MOTHERS: In our more painful custody litigation, angry Mothers will make a statements like “That &*%$#^ (Father) doesn’t need to see the the kids more that every other weekend,” “He never spent time with them before, why does he need time with the kids now?” or “one dinner visit with him is enough for the MY kids.” These otherwise well-meaning Mothers seem to be somewhat blinded by left-over relational issues, divorce issues, support conflicts, “new girlfriend” anger, etc.
In truth, some Fathers in custody litigation sure are no angels. These guys have lots of issues and baggage of their own. Some need a lifetime of anger management classes. Some of these Fathers have not been very active in their children’s lives before. Some have little clue about parenting and developmental issues. But they are the only Fathers these kids have and they can offer one thing Mother never can…a Father’s love and attention.
If Mothers choose to put the kids through months of emotional pain and divisiveness, and spend the kids’ entire college fund on of custody litigation and custody evaluations, ultimately, one our very knowledgeable and experienced Bucks County Family Court judges will sort it all out. But why? To keep an extra overnight? To not let the kids have a dinner visit because it will be “too much for them?” To restrict Father’s vacation to one week during the summer?
The wonderful video below says it all. A mother could deliver the same message to a child, but only a Father can be a Father.
The current Bucks County legal reality has evolved to where 50% – 50% shared physical custody is becoming the norm. Shared legal custody (major decision making) is almost automatic. The current legal dilemma for the Court is not “Who’s gonna get the kids?, but rather how can both parents contribute productively to their children’s lives.
When you come into WE CARE LEGAL SERVICES (1-855-LAW-FAMILY) for a free custody consultation, we will take the time to help you sort it all out. What really is in your children’s best interest? Before we let you give us a custody retainer, we will review whether this investment of your much-needed funds will accomplish the desired result or will it only extend your children’s emotional conflict and division. This is really all about putting the children first, Believe it or not, we really care.
Jan Grossman, Esq.